I have been done a great wrong, readers. A horrible injustice!
I recently received an offer to get free ad placement from a certain blog network website. I thought to myself humbly, "Hey, why not, people could surely benefit from the wisdom I can provide them!" I pondered. I fretted. Hair was torn out. Nerves were frayed. Wedges driven into relationships. And then ten seconds later, I came up with a very succinct, albeit intoxicating way to describe myself and my site.
I received this reply, almost immediately:
Sorry but your ad was not approved. The reason our editorial team gave is as follows: Thank you but unfortunately the site is too mature for our family friendly blog network.
We have canceled this ad.
Regards, Your____ Team
First I felt anger. Did they not see my post on immaturity? There is definitely no maturity to speak of there. Those plebian bastards!
Then Resentment. Why the hell get my hopes up only to dash them against the cliffs of judgement? The rocks of censorship! The jagged edges of ... stupid people being... stupid. Why are they imposing structure to my life with their silly free ads?
Followed closely by insecurity. Wait, I'm not even good enough for FREE?
And, lastly, a bone-wrenching sadness. ...
When I finally trudged through the swamp of my emotions, I took a deep breath and wondered what I could possibly do to make up for all of my past indescretions. Reach this untapped resource of family-friendly maturity.
Then I realized that I didn't care.