I’m writing this in a very Australian micro brewery on the shores of Manly beach with a deliciously foamy, mouth watering lager right in front of me. I just had lunch with a rather hot and hung over Aussie with incredibly wicked green eyes (who, during the previous night, had been causing all sorts of trouble at his brother’s buck’s party. How is it that I attract such trouble?) I had met on the plane last night coming back from Brisbane, where I was visiting my friend Paul. Sadly, hot hung over Aussie had to go back to work since it was his first day back from a ten day holiday but he did, with a quirk of his lips, give me quite an interesting invitation to meet up at some point during my last week here. Sigh.
Right across from where I’m cozied up in my corner booth, I can see the wharf , the white sand beaches, the tanned bodies of the professional surfers, and the curling swells of the ocean.
Yeah, I SO don’t want to go home.
This trip- and it’s not even over yet- has been unbelievable. Epic even. Maybe it’s my deeply rooted need to escape America or maybe it’s how amazing my friends are over here, but I have never felt more at home in a foreign place. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m in awe over how incredibly lucky I am to have people in my life who will knock themselves out for me. I don’t understand it. After all, I’m shallow with no soul and my only redeeming quality is that I can shoot the hell out of zombies in Call of Duty. Well, that and big boobs. Can’t forget those.
When my life degraded into chaos, Australia was really the first place I wanted to go. I emailed my friends Danielle (Sexy Sydney) and Paul (Beautiful Brisbane or Brisvegas as it is affectionately known) who have been inviting me over here for years and pleaded with them to take some time to play with me. Which they did.
I’ve been taken to one of the finest, most exclusive restaurants in Sydney and gotten the best table in the house because the owner, a personality in Sydney, is my friend’s boyfriends best mate, flitted through the Sydney Opera house, driven up to the Blue Mountains where I insulted some Asians, had a traditional aussie meal cooked for me, visited the home of the Crocodile Hunter, got into some trouble on the Sunshine coast, serenaded a wonderful man named Mike who has an amazing back story, played the worst game of drunken charades in my life, and got drenched while cuddling a koala and feeding a roo.
Unfortunately some of the above has wound up on video. To my chagrin and my friends’ endless amusement that is. They are particularly fond of the one where I almost get into a fight with a seven year old over a kangaroo feeding. Clearly not my finest moment. But fun just as well.
In fact I’ve had so much fun here that I’ve completely forgotten to be jet lagged. Even when I got off the plane at 8 am after a nearly a 26 hour trip, I had a huge grin on my face and a nervous energy that must have been coming off me in waves. So you can imagine my reaction after Danielle picked me up at the Sydney airport and nearly the first words out of her mouth were, “Right well you’re welcome to bring any feral random Aussie back to my house for a shagfeast since you’ve got your own room, doll.”
I bet you’re wondering if I took her offer to heart. Considering that it’s me and I’m a million miles away from, well, anyone I may or may not have been dating it did sound quite enticing. Maybe not the feral bit of it. Since that brings to mind slobbering, dirty men jumping out of bushes. But the random Aussie part, I find I quite liked.
I’ve always had a penchant for the Irish but I am learning that Aussie men, with their knowledge of travel, devil may care attitude, and just plain manly way of doing things, are rapidly making their way into my heart. Or at the very least into my lust-filled thoughts. And I must say I’ve been surprised at how I’ve gotten into theirs. I’ve always thought that Americans were seen as the bane of everyone else’s existence. Or at the very least vapid and self-centered.
Given the fact that I’ve met a few random Aussie men who have been mentioned above, I have been given quite the choice dear readers. But, alas, that will probably have to be discussed in part two. Or I could always just keep this delicious little morsel to myself.
What do you think?