Sunday, January 2, 2011

Lola vs. Happy New Year Bitches

Some of you know why I've been gone these past two months. If you don't let's just say that I've been through a pretty big personal tragedy. The kind that's almost physical in how incredibly painful it is. As some of you are well aware, I am a huge fan of bottling things up inside and that's how I choose to deal with this at the moment. Healthy? Probably not. Do I care? Hell to the no.


There are, however, a few things I have learned over the past few months during the dark times.


1) Grief makes people horny. I deduce this because I have been asked out/hit on about four times in the weeks since said personal tragedy. I've had offers of semi-naked football watching (my favorite by the way), of free drinks, of a "cardio" work out partner, and one very interesting "why don't you come over and bring your puppy so we can have a play date?"

2) This goes directly in conjuction with number one. I have finally found the absolute most awkward place to be hit on. At a repass.

3) No matter what I do over the next few months, I live in a judgement free zone. According to my friends, I get a free pass for awhile. Yes, I am smiling wickedly as I type this. Doing morally irreprehensible things with little to no consequence? Sign me the eff up.

4) If one more person asks me "How I'm hanging in?" I'm going to slap a bitch.

In the meantime, dear readers, I am off to escape. From people who I've come to care about. And from life in general. Where am I going? About as far as humanly possible from New Jersey.

So yeah, I'm heading down under. And I don't mean I'm going incognito. I'm heading to where it's summer, where there are sexy accents, where the people are laid-back and descend from convicts, and where I can do pretty much whatever I want regardless of consquences because of the very few people I know who live there. Add in the fact that it is about 22 hours by plane and Oz is just about as appealing as a foreign continent can be right now.

In fact, I'm sitting in the airport lounge as I type this. Hoorah for free internet.

A few of my friends are already taking bets on whether or not I come back. Or as someone put it, " if you do come back, you're completely going to have someone follow you back, aren't you?"

Any takers on that bet?

See you soon fellow bloggers. Maybe even in the form of a scandelous update from Oz.

11 comments:

Lizzy said...

Honestly can't think of a better place to go and escape from things. I'm not sure what happened but i hope you're ok x x

Cindy said...

I have no idea what happened but I'm sending you good vibes from South Florida!!! Enjoy your trip and don't slap anyone... anyone sober anyway.

ladytruth said...

For a second there I was getting pretty excited with the mention of heading south, pretty accents and people being laid back, but then the convict-thing pulled me back from my daydream since my peeps here in South Africa at least don't have that one to tick off the long list of things we can claim we are. :)

Looking forward to hear from you soon about your adventure duwn unda!

Charmine said...

Lucky bitch, got room in your suitcase for me too? I need to go hide from reality for a couple of days.

Candice said...

Damn, you so mysterious. I hope everything works out okay, and yes, enjoy that vacation!

Anonymous said...

Yes, there are people out here that have missed your updates. We would love to hear how the trip Down Under is going for you.

Mr. Condescending said...

Lola this is crazy. But then again you are Lola....


I hope you're ok this is kind of shocking

Madame DeFarge said...

Hope you enjoy your time down under, take care.

otherworldlyone said...

I have no idea what you've been through, but I'm glad you're able to get away for awhile.

The Faux Trixie said...

My internet at work was down for, like, three hours and my phone would not recognize the black background. It was all like, "oh hell naw." So I literally had to wait until now.

That being said, it was worth the wait. I love satisyfing recaps that feature me and people I like and boobs and drunkeness.

I also like new blogging friends! Yay! Please come back soon, or let me and V come see in Jerze.

PS. While you were watching True Grit, I was sleeping and then ate TWENTY chicken mcnuggets while watching Supersize. I'll let that irony sink in.

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