Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Lola vs. A Reputation for Trouble

Just what does it say about me when I get this kind of text message from one of my friends:

GirlFriend: So, can I ask you some advice? You're the first person I thought of.
Lola: Go ahead, shoot.
GirlFriend: One night stands. I'm not used to this sorta thing, don't know the rules.
Lola: Okaaaay. Sure. Well, did he ask you for your number? I don't remember. I just passed out last night. Good god, I was drunk.
GirlFriend: I don't have ur problem of having to beat off guys...u sexy lady... wait beat off.. no pun intended. I'm like the worst person for this... so can you let me know if you go anywhere to get std tests or anything lol thanks.
Lola: I wouldn't say I beat off guys- Wait, I'm the FIRST person you thought of concerning STDs?

This was a little disconcerting and I thought, mayhaps (Ok, yeah, I know this word went out of style circa the 1800's but it's just so fun to type/say) a bit unfair. Is my reputation, even among friends, really that bad? It can't be. I'm just misunderstood. So I started cataloging my life over the past year. I have actually slept with one guy more than once! Yay me! But ,oh crap, he wasn't someone I should have slept with. Ok, sooo that's one strike against me. I've had someone move across the country to get away from me. Ugh, strike number two. I forgot the last name of at least one person I've slept with over the past year. Stupid strike number three.

However, these three things do not necessarily a reputation for trouble make. Then I came across this text message exchange I had with my infamous BFF Kane awhile ago:

Kane: So Lola do you have any BBQs today? Btw, you were probably too drunk to remember us talking last night, but the good looking dude from my old job is in fact single. And what the hell was going on at your house?
Lola: Hahaha. I got trashed and ended up with a whole bunch of random people here. Who I legit met on my street. Oh cool, we should all meet up sometime. Kind of hung over today and I have to cook dinner for my mom. Maybe hang tomorrow?
Lola: P.S. I also may have have slept with one of the random guys at my house last night. I hope he doesn't call me again. But he asked for my number. Crap.
Kane: Jeez, Lola. You sleep with people the way most people brush their teeth. It's part of your daily routine.
Lola: Brush teeth, sleep with random guy, grocery shopping, afternoon tea- just to class it up a little.

So was that the proverbial nail in my trouble making coffin or just another misunderstood misdemeanor?


Unknown said...

Is it bad that the only reason I recall the last name of one of the guys I slept with this year is because he's in a not-very-talented-but-has-a-myspace-page-for-his-band and his last name is on there. You know, I only checked once, just in case I had to make one of those panicked "you owe me child support" calls. Which thankfully never happened. Oh, and his last name is IN the title of the band. Ugh. Fml.

You're the first person I think of in pretty much any situation.

Laura said...

@uncorked- Not bad at all. At least you have someway of finding that out. The only way I would find out the last name of the guy i slept with is if I called him. Which I am so not doing. I've already ignored 3 of his calls.

Phew, that makes me feel OH so much better. You are- and always will remain- my sunshine.

Candice said...

I don't feel like I can elaborate here, but...I understand.

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