Dear Olympic Committee –
We were watching the winners of the pairs figure skating perform on Sunday and, sadly, we have to admit we weren't really paying a whole lot of attention. When we glanced at the screen we noticed the female skater was wearing a ballet outfit while her partner was in a hockey jersey. This immediately caught our attention and we got incredibly excited that they might possibly be performing an interpretive ice-dance of the classic inspirational hockey /ice skating film The Cutting Edge. After watching for a few more minutes we were severely disappointed to learn we were wrong and this was merely a traditional performance.
However, this made us realize that there should be an additional category in Olympic Figure Skating – 80’s Films and Television Shows: Interpretive Dance. This new category has the power to truly revolutionize the figure-skating world as we know it. The possibilities are endless! Imagine being able to see classics such as Say Anything, Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, McGuyver, Moonlighting, Magnum P.I. etc. come to life in front of your very eyes. Let's be honest, who wouldn't want to witness Ducky get his figure-skating groove on in front of a very reluctant let's-just-be-friends-even-though-I'm-leading-you-on-while-making-my-own-prom-dress-to-go-with-the-most-popular-boy-in-school Andie?
If we were to expand to team skating this exciting, new category could include The Goonies, 21 Jumpstreet, St.Elmo’s Fire and The Breakfast Club. Furthermore, if we were to allow same sex partnerships shows like Miami Vice would be an excellent short program. Sonny Crockett and Ricardo Tubbs are back, taking on the Florida drug world by storm with their trademark wisecracks and Italo-casual fashion- on ice!
The use of props would be strongly encouraged. For example in a Heathers long program, Drano can be used to drive a key plot point home- especially when spewed onto the ice by one of the female figure skaters. Think of the imagery that the audience would be left with!
We, the undersigned, truly believe that by adding Interpretive Dance of 80’s Films and Television Shows it will greatly increase the number of attendees to all skating events as well as promote a steady growth in home viewership, thus resulting in astronomical advertising sales.
New Jersey and Connecticut