- I have successfully learned how to make my mother's pasta sauce. And homemade meatballs. This now officially makes me Italian.
- I made the mistake of making both the sauce and the meatballs at one of my infamous parties. Spaghetti ended up on my head. And on the walls. And in the guest bedroom.
- I had a stalker for the month of December. Who sent me flowers, cookies, and then chocolate covered strawberries. The card that came with the flowers stated, "Just to let you know someone is thinking of you."
- I received my very first sonic screwdriver. I am still waiting for one of you to show me yours. You know who you are.
- I met Trinity and his wife in real life. Twice! Well to be accurate I met him and his wife once and Trinity twice but both times= DELIGHTFUL. He was kind enough to write about our second outing which included: karaoke, an overly exuberant gay waiter cock-blocking Trinity's dessert, Mary Poppins, and a subway trip to hell!
- I found out who my stalker was. It's insanely creepy that he knew my address. Does it make me a bad person that I've already forgotten his name? It may have begun with a G...
- I was asked out 2.5 times. I went out 2.5 times. The evidence- on whether or not the .5 was actually a date- remains inconclusive.
- I am more attached to one of my video game characters than any of the 2.5 dates above. This troubles me.
- I ran out of my house at 4:30am- while it was snowing- in a Notre Dame jersey, boy shorts and Ugg® boots. My friend found me and I apparently responded with a slurred, "I was taking out the garbage."
- One of my garbage cans is still missing.
- My brother asked me what movies Sam Worthington has been in. I mistakenly answered, "Hooooooooot!" I will never be able to live this down. This occurred a month ago and there is still fallout.
Drunk Text Favorites:
From: Lola Recipient: Kane Text: Whahtgaking? Kane's response: I can't even begin to imagine what that is. And that is awesome
From: Lola Recipient: Jeanette Text: aj! hydbnu Jeanette's response: What does that even mean?
From: CW Recipient: Lola Text: Got here... we think we've met Melissa- drinking profusely now. My response: Who's Melissa?
From: Lola's sister Recipient: Lola Text: Peanioooooooo abr playing I would walk 6000 milesassss. Locedddeeeeeee uuuuuuu (included a video attachment of unintelligible singing and mysterious origin)
From: KF Recipient: Lola Text: Hey don't forget to list your MOUTH on your 2009 Tax Return. I heard it got a lot of work this year. My response: Damn it, I should have filed for workman's comp.
From: JA Recipient: Lola Text: In jail. I blame public transit.**I can't even count the number of times I've received drunken phone calls or texts about my friends being in jail. None of them have actually been in jail at the time the messages were sent.
Most "Interesting" Compliment:
"Dude, Lola, you're kind of like my paxil." My response: Um... thanks?
Alas, our catch-up time is coming to an end. Sigh. I will leave you with one of the reasons I have been absent:
I went to our company's national sales meeting. This has reaffirmed my deep-rooted belief that national sales meetings are the girls gone wild episodes of the business community. Once everyone is finished with their daily meetings, the inhibitions are shed. Imagine spring break with an expense account! At different points in my career I've seen: a presenter vomit mid-power point; a big-time executive hit on a sales rep directly after giving a speech on his wife and family values; an entire team go skinny dipping; a beach bar break-in; a table thrown out a balcony window; an impromptu 3 am Call of Duty session in the break-out room, several inappropriate hook-ups, binder bowling, and much more.
I am sure you are asking whether yours truly has ever done anything untoward at these meetings. And my answer to you is: Haven't I always kept up with the accepted standards of what is right and proper in polite society?