Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Lola vs. Patron Email Response

I thought I would share with all of you an email I recently received from a friend about his experiences with the devil's alcohol.

Lola,

Hey, what’s going on? I’m chilling at a party right now but I thought I’d take a break to write you a short email. Well, as much as I like you, I’m also writing this because I’m bored out of my mind- this is one of those lame parties where everyone eats wine and cheese and discusses their Roth IRA’s and 401k’s… this is the graveyard where conversations go to die. Right now the most exciting thing happening is a man that dared to say that “Obama isn’t living up to his potential”, which is clearly a faux pas around overly-liberal trendy douchebags. He’s standing right next to the guy that just walked with a bottle of Patron. Wait…Patron? Hold on, I’m going to grab me a shot of that and I’ll be back in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.

Yo! This party is kickin’! I just had, like, 3 shots of Patron in a row, WOOOO! COLLEGE!! I just had the best conversation with some people about how Obama is the shit, man! Fuck that guy that said he’s been mediocre so far! Fuck that racist mother fucker, how dare you speak about my man like that! Wooooo! I’m getting drunk. Brb, more shots! Patron rocks!

ROLA! Dish party ish the best. I did five shots…nowait, 6? Five. I don’t know. watsh important is dat I’m drunk. Drunking ish so much fun, and so ish dish partyy. Yo, I did like five shots. or maybe wash six, who cares. have more now. As;lkdtjasro;tisutdlsakj lela- I am sefen more shotz.. doo yoo want one? come here for shot. whhy leila dont ansswer mee? WELLL SCREU YOO, STUK UP BYTCH! I wuz tryin to help by giving yoo three shot! I am good helper, iam! Patron is gud. Lolure stop it makin thee room spinning! Yes.

Yoor Fwend,
Patronn

PS, I am good helper.

6 comments:

jeanette said...

Haha... this made my morning! thanks

Al said...

hahahaha awesome awesome email =)

The Caped Tirader said...

jeez...Patron is the devil, lol.

Nickie. said...

hahahah. that was awesome!

Simon said...

You were just asking in my blog how you could most easily get a minion. If you can afford the drinks bill, this would appear to be your answer. Of course he would be of limited practical use, but at least you wouldn’t have to pay him.

bluntdelivery said...

Dear Lola,

I heart your friends.

Smooches,

Evil Twin Bitch