Never ask for an EZ Pass from your parents for Christmas. Although it may seem like a gift, it is entirely a curse. If you do ask for an EZ Pass as a gift, more than likely you will begin to receive creepy emails from them (in my case it’s all my dad) where the subject line reads, “I see you....”
Now, that ranks some seriously high vibes on my evil laughter subtext scale.
Invariably the body of the email will finish the subject line and will inundate me with accusatory remarks such as “Went over the Tappan Zee bridge on 06-Feb-2009 16:14:38. Did you leave work early????” Should I be comforted by the fact that leaving work early still warrants at least four question marks? I thought I had passed through the four question mark stage and was downgraded to two. I could have sworn that happened in the summer of ’05.
I’m in my twenties and have been out of the house for several years now so I probably should have- I don’t know been a grown-up- and gotten my own EZ pass account. I could bore you with a really long and complicated answer but it really boils down to one thing. I am lazy. This includes but is not limited to things that allow me to travel faster down the Garden State Parkway and/or the New Jersey Turnpike.